I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize