Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize