If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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