I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's shark week go big or go home
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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