you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
