Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
