Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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