screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
