..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
