"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
