College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
