I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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