Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
