Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
