hotel room ftw
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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