YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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