judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
don't judge my taste in strippers
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
