I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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