Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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