I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize