What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
