i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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