I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
