I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize