I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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