He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
