I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
