; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
