There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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