More tranny stories later!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
MIDGETS
????
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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