I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
