Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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