thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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