Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
