Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
