Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
