Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
soo... how was my night?
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