The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
