i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
