i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
