i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize