Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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