Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
thus making me awesome and them whores
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
