Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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