you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
