OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize