i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
as a side note pls kill me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
