bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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