am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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