I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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