i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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