i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
