I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
