as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This baby is an asshole
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
