What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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