No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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