Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
