What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
