i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
