That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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