i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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