Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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