they need to just BURY HIM!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
