What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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